To My Mom.
I know I wasn’t the easiest to deal with as a child. I mean I didn’t even let you brush my teeth when I was younger because I wanted to do it all on my own. I know I’ve always been headstrong, stubborn, fiercely independent – you get the point. But I have to stay that I haven’t been ignoring your lectures. Well technically I have, but I’ve realized that I want to become the person that you want me to become and the person that you know that I can become. It has taken me eighteen years to realize this, but I guess we all mature at different times. I always thought that I knew everything that I needed to know, but little did I know that it is true, mother’s do know best. I want to become someone who’s just like you.
You are the most unselfish person that I know. I always took it for granted but now looking back I think, no, I know I was a very lucky child. Most kids play one sport and go to one art class, but no you wanted your children to do it all. You took Serena and me to dance classes all the way in Hacienda Heights, art classes in Fullerton, piano classes in Rowland Heights, and soccer practice in La Habra, etc. I could go on and on. You didn’t have to do that. You had every excuse after a long day of work to come home and just relax but you wanted the best for us. Even if you were tired you would drive those 40 minutes just so we could take a class. You wanted to let us experience everything so we could find our passion. And I am so thankful and grateful for that. Thank you Mom.
I know that I’ve always been an unorganized child but I’m trying to change that. I know that it’s not because I’m “born like that” it’s an excuse that I always gave myself, I know it’s because I’m lazy. But you’re not lazy. You’ve taught me to do things because it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s the easiest thing to do. I’m weak at times, but in those moments I think to myself “you’re mom does this every single day, why can’t you do it for this one moment?” Thank you for inspiring me.
You haven’t had the best life. I know. I remember the first time and the only time I saw you cry. I cried that day too. I cried for you. I cried because you deserve so much better than what you got. I know that people make mistakes, I understand that sometimes we slip, that sometimes we mess up. But I wish that “situation” never happened. Because you don’t deserve anything like that. You are a devoted hard working women, who cares deeply about your family. You do everything for your family and it’s a shame that your family can’t give that back to you. As I’ve matured I’ve realized that I want to give back to you like you gave so much to me. I can’t make anyone else do anything, but I can control my actions and I know that I want you to be happy. I want you to find happiness in the life that you are living in. So I’m going to try, going to try really hard, to be the “joy” in your life.